Jul 14, 2022

Codependency Will Require You to Abandon the Self

by Lisa A. Romano

breakthrough codependency codependency in relationships codependency recovery

As human beings, we are not raised to observe our thoughts as we would words on a cellphone.

We are not conditioned to detach from painful emotions, and to hang them out as we would laundry on a line, and investigate their origins, or where those emotions might lead.

As humans, we are raised by other wounded unaware beings, who have never learned to detach and observe their thoughts or emotions either, and so, through imitation, repetition, and consistency, we trod along in life unaware too.


Is Your Wounded Ego Driving the Bus?



Over the past 20-plus years, I have been speaking about, and writing about my struggle with wounded ego-driven level one consciousness, which poisoned my identity of self, arrested my emotional development, screwed up my thinking process, and ultimately manifested within all of my relationships; every one of them, by the way, to some degree. At the core of my depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and desperation, was an aching inner child, that had never gained the maternal connections she needed in order to develop faith in herself or others. 

Deep within my subconscious mind, were neural pathways that had fired and then wired together for over 3 decades. These neural pathways were the highways my thoughts traveled upon, the ones my fairly conscious mind falsely presumed, by default were things the 'me' I believed I was, was in control of. 


If you're codependent, you're not conscious and that is not your fault. 

Awakening from level one consciousness is very much like the movie the Matrix. In a single moment, everything you have ever believed in, felt or presumed is called into question. You are not who you thought you were, which then implies that others might not be who you thought they were either. 

Lions and tigers and bears oh my!

Some say codependency is just a trendy term that demonizes those who just want to be loved, and who just want to be loved in return. That's a bunch of b/s if you ask me...

When I was at level one consciousness, and my ego needs were running the ship, I would have said something similar...and that line of thinking would have allowed me to blame others for not 'loving me enough'.


 Codependency in Relationships

Codependency in relationships will arrest you right where you are...it is an addiction to one's own subconscious thoughts that work to distort the root cause of one's need to 'attach' 'enmesh' 'please' and gain 'validation'.

Codependency in relationships will keep you living your life from the place of your wounded inner child, seeking the attachment you never received from your mother or father, in adult relationships with others...and maybe even from your innocent children...

Codependency in relationships at work will cause you to work your ass off at your career, and push you to perfectionism chasing your team's approval carrot.

Codependency in relationships will be the root reason why you dishonor your boundaries when you meet strong, attractive, charismatic potential partners and why your brain will light up like Las Vegas when someone on the narcissistic spectrum shows any interest in you.

Codependency within sibling relationships will be why you and your siblings don't get along, and why your parents may have triangulated, gaslit, or emotionally abandoned you and your siblings, which leads to resentments within the family system fighting for your parent's attention, as well as approval.

Codependency in your everyday life will be why you feel stuck, demotivated, and in fear of taking career risks. You will minimize your talents, innate gifts, and value. You will play it safe, minimize your dreams, and live with your nose barely above the water line, all while obsessing about how you might be of value to others.


No, codependency is not a trendy term when it is understood for the self-destructive, soul-murdering, self-abandoning state of being it is.



Breakthrough Codependency in 12 Step Recovery Online Recovery Program

My life is proof, that you can rewire your brain and Breakthrough Codependency at the quantum, cellular, chemical, spiritual, and vibrational, levels.


Here's what it will take to breakthrough codependency;


  • willingness to learn new coping strategies 
  • a willingness to unlearn old worn out survival strategies 
  • courage to change and correct codependent thinking and behaviors
  • tenacity to commit your life to the practice of self-awareness
  • steadfast self accountability especially when things get rough


Don't let another day go by where you are NOT the CAPTAIN of your mental, emotional, spiritual, and neurological ship.

Thoughts, whether they are self abandoning, or self-loving, become things...


To learn more about the 12 Week Breakthrough Codependency Coaching Program visit https://wwwlisaaromano.com/12wbcp


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