Dec 07, 2022

Codependency Burnout; Doing Too Much Until You Drop

by Lisa A. Romano

burn out codependency burnout
  • Are you loving yourself?
  • Are you listening to your inner voice?
  • Are you taking time to feel your feelings and process what your emotions are trying to tell you?

Triggers Are Alive in the Matrix

The matrix is alive with billions of energy streams and states of consciousness. If we are not grounded, at any time, we can be swept up by antagonistic trains of thought, like what happens when our minds are triggered.

Triggers can be prominent or hardly noticeable. They can light our brain on fire within seconds or subtly dim our light over time, sometimes until we transition. Obvious triggers are easier to deal with. The triggers that we cannot taste, smell, touch, or hear are the ones that are the most dangerous.

Subtle Codependent Triggers

Recently, subtle triggers caught up with me and despite meditating, and journaling, deep within my subconscious mind, old belief systems, denial, and patterns became activated.

As a child, I learned early that the goal was to focus on others and to try to figure out how to please them. This allowed me to gain approval, secure an attachment, and avoid abandonment. That implied I was worthy if I was good enough and could make others happy. Through dishonoring myself, somehow, my fears were squelched.

What I could never have known or comprehended as a child was how small and invisible the real-Lisa would need to become to gain an identity that I could latch onto to secure attachments to others.

The recipe was, "Do enough, and then you'll be enough."


Codependency Burn Out 

Recently, I began suffering from symptoms of burnout. My brain felt like a firestorm was taking place, and even answering emails became impossible. Doing what I loved seemed to set my entire spinal column on fire, and despite wanting to complete daily tasks, I simply couldn't. It was then that I immediately began taking things off my plate. Whatever I did NOT have to do, I decided could wait.

Self Care

Throughout this time, I had to face the truth. I was not offering myself the self-care I deserved; instead, I had lost myself in a world of doing and doing and doing without stopping to take a breath.  Even though I was doing what I loved, I lost my balance without realizing it. And then, almost suddenly and out of nowhere, my brain and body just quit. 

I am coming through the storm with greater awareness, more profound peace, and a heightened sense of clarity, and I have committed to stop reaching so much and to instead get back to the basics. This is where I am the happiest. 

Simplifying Life 

In the excitement of life, we can lose our balance. We can think that doing more for others, and even for ourselves, is the answer when doing less is often the wisest option. Do I need to run 10 miles weekly, or can I slow it down? Do I need to decorate the house for 5 hours, or can I do less? Do I need to have 25 people over for dinner, or would I enjoy inviting a couple over instead? Do I need to do every requested interview, or can I say no? Do I need to answer every phone call I know will drain me, or can I accept that I have a right NOT to answer? Do I have to meet every demand of others, or can I selectively and mindfully choose those that fulfill me?

Codependents are Worker Bees

Healing codependent men and women tend to be doers, and sadly, even when we are doing what we love, we can do until we drop...and Dear Ones...that's not self-love.

I am learning that it's okay to say NO, and not meet others' expectations. It's okay to allow others to suggest that I do things better and to say NO thank you...I am learning that even when doing things I love to do...doing too much of anything without stopping and reevaluating WHY I do what I do is a covert codependency trap.

Back to the basics for this healing codependent! 

And that feels enough for me!

Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach



#codependentrecovery #codependencyrecovery #healingtrauma #burnoutrecovery #codependentnomore #lisaaromano #selfhealingjourney #innerchildhealing #innerchildwork #innerchildtherapy