Oct 15, 2022

Childhood Trauma, Codependency and Consciousness

by Lisa A. Romano

childhood trauma and codependency codependency recovery
childhood trauma and codependency

Childhood trauma is a travesty.

One of my greatest stumbling blocks on the road to healing from childhood trauma was ignorance of how my mind operated. Sitting here at my desk, writing this article this morning with the hopes of inspiring you to AWAKEN comes from a place of sadness and hope.

I am human, after all, and I have sinned. I have missed the mark. When I speak of missing the mark, I am referring to living below the veil of consciousness, unaware I was unaware. Although my children are doing well, and their lives are progressing in beautiful ways, the mother in me cannot help but regret the trauma my unconsciousness caused them.

I became engaged to their father at 21 after knowing him for only a few months. The typical codependent thing to do was to latch onto nearly anyone who seemed to be able to tolerate me. I told myself all I had to do was love him, take care of him, anticipate his needs, and figure out how to please him.

Codependency recovery required that I understand how childhood trauma

had manifested in how I related to men. 

Today I recognize these ideas as the belly cries of my wounded inner child, who ached day in and day out for her mother's love and hoped, somehow, begging for her approval would be enough for her to love me in return.

I developed codependency due to feeling unworthy of a mother's love. And although codependency was a consequence and thus not my fault, in reality, my unhealed wounds impacted my innocent children regardless.


Codependency is a Low Consciousness State

The greatest travesty wounded adult children experience, especially adult daughters who are now mothers, is how natural it is to be cut off from our divinity due to negative childhood experiences. Due to biology and the rules decided by nature, a woman's womb allows for the sacred creation of a child, where life unfolds through mystical laws. Science has yet to understand the life force that sets off the innumerable chain of events responsible for the manifestation of sacred human beings, yet a womb follows natural laws nonetheless. 

Another Generation of Codependency

A mother who has unhealed wounds, by default, passes the torch to the children she carries in her womb and through how she relates to them in the 3D world through the invisible realms of emotion and spirit.

Fathers who carry unhealed wounds also impact the self-concept their children hold of themselves; however, the divine connection between a mother and her child cannot be denied. Science proves that the bond between the child a mother carries in her womb is mystical, magical, fragile, and even defies logic and reason.

Divine Bonds Can Go Awry

A mother's breasts can thermoregulate her newborn's body temperature. If a mother gives birth to twins and twin A's body temperature falls, one breast will warm up to raise the newborn's body temperature. And magically, if twin B's body temperature increases, the opposite breast will decrease its temperature to stabilize her newborn's core temperature.

In the best of scenarios, a child is born to parents who are attuned to their divine selves and capable of offering their child all the consistent nurturing they require to determine the world is safe and that they are loved.

However, when these sacred bonds are fractured, a child's mind is forced to remain in a box. From this place of trauma, we remain locked inside a cage, fearing further abandonment, suffering, and rejection. As adults, we remain subconscious. The wounds of the past prevent us from raising our consciousness. Fear keeps us from OWNING our divine right to experience the GOOD in life.

And while it makes sense that painful adverse childhood experiences arrest our ability to trust ourselves and others, the travesty and injustice trauma has on our souls, and human potential should never be denied.

The greatest travesty in the entire world is that past experiences can diminish your mind's ability to expand beyond the fear of pain. Until you AWAKEN, you, me, and all mere mortals repeat the past. Sadly, our children will reap what has been sowed unless we are brave enough to heal what we did not break.

I am here to tell you it's possible!

When we heal, we set off a butterfly effect, and massive ripples are sent out into the quantum field that raises the frequencies of this planet bit by bit.

Never underestimate the power you have to create change in this world.

Every thought you think matters in the quantum field.


Codependency Recovery  Requires Humility

I am no longer asleep, unconscious, and operating below the veil of consciousness. I have made amends, asked for forgiveness, and I have committed myself to the path of nonresistance.

I no longer argue with others or seek approval. I no longer fret over how people live or what choices they make. I no longer act upon old abandonment wounds, nor do I believe others need to cater to my spiritual or emotional boo-boos. The work I have done to gain confidence, clarity, and ownership over my life has broken the defenses of my ego time and time again.

There is a time to focus on what happens to us as children and to take stock of how trauma, abandonment, rejection, and abuse have impacted how we perceive the self. How we view the self determines every choice, from relationships to parenthood to careers, and how well we manage our finances. Awakening to these truths is pivotal on the healing path; however, far too often, wounded adult children get stuck in this place of reflection.

At this time, it is my deepest and most sincere hope that despite any negative experience you have ever endured, you AWAKEN to the TRUTH.

You, Dear One, are a divine sacred being. You are an extension of the highest power. And while painful events are valid, do not remain asleep because within you is the ability to RAISE your consciousness to the level of non-ego, free of the fear of pain and the pursuit of pleasure. A plane of consciousness where you are in a state of surrender, nonresistance, acceptance, and joyful expectation.

The ego is designed to remember, recall and keep you safe. The brain is designed to focus on what you give the most attention to. The mind can only play with the tools in the shed, so I wish to offer you some new tools to consider using on this journey through life.

The past is a memory, and as long as we bring what has been to the now without challenging the beliefs internalized due to trauma, we are doomed to repeat the past.

The past need not predetermine the future.

We can heal the wounds responsible for codependency, feeling unworthy and as if we have no right to speak authentically or live a life that reflects our innate values.

We can heal ourselves and end the travesty that separates each of us from our divine love consciousness. And we can even help to heal the world too. We can heal our abandonment wounds and attune ourselves to our children who suffer greatly from our unhealed traumas. We can learn to understand what they need and refuse to carry our mother's wounds forward.

Trauma forces us to remain asleep in the past, fearing the NOW, unconsciously bringing forth the past into the future, operating from disempowered states of mind, unaware we are unaware and cut off from our sacred divinity.

This is the travesty of childhood trauma.



Codependency Recovery Coaching Program 

A special thank you to those who have taken the journey to higher states of consciousness with me through my online courses, like The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program and the Master Your Reality Master Class.

You are members of our community who value the sacred journey of self-healing. You are courageous women, men, mothers, fathers, and grandparents who refuse to allow the past to arrest your ability to become the heirs of the universe you were born to be. You know, the past does not need to determine your future, and that 'ego death' is the doorway to your soul's resurrection.

Thank you for trusting your soul's journey with my team and me.


Lisa A. Romano 

Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping adult children from toxic homes heal the abandonment wounds responsible for codependent, narcissistic relationship dynamics. In 2020 she was voted the #1 most Influential Person of the Year by Digital Journal, and voted one of the Top Ten Most Inspirational Women of 2021.  In 2022, she was voted one of the Top 30 Female Entrepreneurs To Look Out For by Entrepreneurs Herald. Her books Codependency Manifesto and Codependent Now What? It's Not You -- It's Your Programming have been voted two of the best books on codependency of all time. In February of 2021, she was voted one of the Top Mental Health Experts to watch by Yahoo Finance. In March of 2021, USA Today voted her book Codependent Now What one of the top 20 must-reads for anyone looking to upgrade their personal and professional lives. Her podcast Breakdown to Breakthrough is a consistent top 100 broadcast on mental health issues. Actors from the hit movie WAVES credited Lisa during an LA Times interview for helping them prepare for their roles as children of narcissistic parents spiraling out of control due to toxic family relationships. Her work reaches millions of viewers monthly via her YouTube channel with nearly 600K subscribers. Her flagship program, The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program, has helped thousands of wounded adult children awaken their consciousness. Her passion for helping other wounded adult children stems from her codependency recovery journey. Lisa's understanding of generational trauma helped her recognize familial dysfunction as a form of subconscious programming passed to future generations. Her desire to spare her three children from the faulty subconscious programs that ruled her life gave her the courage to end her toxic marriage and face her low self-worth, abandonment issues, and codependency traits head-on. Today she is happily married to her husband, Anthony, and is a sought-after expert in codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery. 
To learn more, visit https://www.lisaaromano.com