Mar 23, 2024

Childhood Trauma and It's Impact on the Law of Attraction

by Lisa A. Romano

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I know, I know... you probably think that you're about to read a bunch of gobbly goop about some hokey pokey, new-age philosophy that will either cause you to feel angry or maybe, just maybe, you're a little bit curious.

Either way, I hope you continue reading.

Childhood trauma is essentially the consequences of brutal emotional, psychological, and physical experiences a child was unable to process, flee, or fight. The more dependent and the more powerless a child feels, the greater the impact on their brain, nervous system, psychological system, and body when trauma is occurring or never stops occurring. Childhood trauma is made manifest in personality disorders such as narcissism, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, cleptomania, obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety, depression, dependency disorder, anxious attachment style, codependency, and counter dependency, just to name a few.  

Childhood trauma manifests in the way we think, feel, and process our emotions and the world around us. Mental signs of trauma include distrust in self and others, paranoia, isolating one's self from others and feeling safer alone, rumination, constant thoughts of self-doubt, tremendous trepidation over having to make a decision, a punishing inner critic, mood swings, cynicism, judgmental, critical, and intrusive thoughts.

Childhood trauma will manifest in relationships. It is often why couples divorce, bicker over minor issues, criticize one another or unrealistically expect their partners to fulfill their unmet needs. It is why some spouses tolerate abuse, stay when they should leave, and live lives of quiet desperation, not knowing how to escape the trap they have found themselves in. 

Whenever I hear a heart-sinking story about someone who is in a downward spiral of self-defeating, risk-taking behaviors, who can't seem to accept the good in life, or who continually pushes balance, peace, money, and ease away, I assume this person's behaviors are manifestations of unhealed childhood trauma.

I was one of those people without a clear understanding of healthy love. Nor did I have any concept of self-love. I grew up with a mother and a father who made it clear they would not stand for me to think well of myself. Mom was the martyr type, who resented and was jealous of those women who painted their toes and fingernails. That was until she got out from beneath my father's controlling thumbs and took a job out of the house when she was in her early forties. Then, it was all about her toes and fingernails. 

Think about this question for a moment.

What would be required to get from point A to point B if you desired to do so? 

To achieve the goal B, what would first have to happen within you, within your mind, and within your heart?

You would be right if you said you first must get clear about that goal. And although that might be freaking obvious...step back and think deeper.

It is miraculous alone to be able to notice the divine intuition and desire to get from point A to point B.

Yet, adult children of trauma, emotional neglect, and abuse are far too busy scanning the environment for the next potential threat to be able to consider their wants.

Their wants are tied to the need for survival, and that is a very different reality, vibrational frequency, or state of consciousness than that of Mary Sue from a loving family who daydreams about being a veterinarian one day and is supported by a loving family.

The life I am living now, contently married, feeling at peace in my own skin, in a career that fulfills me, was something I called into my reality. It didn't just show up one day. It is the result of overcoming a little-known awful consequence of childhood trauma, and that is the cessation of an active imagination that is tied to a desired future that represents the divine essence of my authentic self.

As a child, I dreamed about being rescued or rescuing others. I dreamed about being loved, heard, and understood and offering the same to someone else. Yet, these dreams were laden with fear, lack, scarcity, terror, and spine-crushing low self-worth. They were also driven and anchored to cognitive distortions, like 'If I am good, then people will love me, and then I will be worthy.' Or, 'I am bad and broken. That is why I have no right to really want what I want. I am one of those girls who must settle.'

And so, the first part of my life became a mirror for all the unhealed trauma, faulty beliefs, and subconscious negative perceptions that had been organically downloaded within the neural fibers of my brain. And the goblins of unmet needs hijacked my divine imagination, but I didn't know it. No, I didn't imagine from my heart. I imagined from the amygdala and hippocampus, from the stench of dismissed, ignored, and devalued emotional and psychological trauma.

However, the moment I decided to commit my life to unveil what the heck was wrong with me, bit by bit, my mind, emotions, beliefs, relationships, thoughts, inner self-talk, perceptions, and experiences began to make sense.

My adult life was a manifestation of all of the negative beliefs I held about myself and the consequences of undiagnosed childhood trauma, including depression, anxiety, rumination, obsessive thinking, and an eating disorder. 

Whoa...all of my dysfunction and hellish experiences, including the nasty thoughts in my mind, made sense!

But that was just the beginning of this heroic quest. Somehow, I would have to embrace the firestorm of unhealed trauma and come out the other side. 

So, getting back to my point about childhood trauma and the law of attraction...

Children of trauma are not allowed to want to speak their truth, nor can they connect with their authentic selves.

To survive, they must abandon their authentic connection to the self, avoid rejection, and stay on high alert for the next attack.

So, no, properly utilizing the law of attraction in a scientific way, which is simply the well-researched law of causality in action within the quantum field, is not easy for an adult child of trauma. 

The law of causality operates on the premise that one form of energy impacts other forms of energy, causing a chain reaction. In the world of energy, that is all you are. You are pure energy. 99.9% of every atom of your being is pure space or energy. While you assume you're solid, you're not, well, not in the energetic sense anyway.

Now pan out further, Dear One, and understand there is no such thing as space. Your human eyes can only perceive about 4-6% of what is really going on around you. In the area you call space, there is nothing but energy, bands of light, frequency, patterns, and vibrations. 

Okay, now consider that you cannot separate yourself from this energy field. If you believe this idea, you will understand that the energy field you bask in obeys quantum laws. One energy form impacts other energy forms. You, all day and every day, are interfacing with the energy within the quantum field your physical eyes cannot see. 

It is not your fault that your childhood experiences may have caused you to fear the worst as a child and even as an adult or that your brain's neurology has been impacted by the very valid need to stay hyper-vigilant. I am only asking you to question what impact living this way, below the veil of consciousness, has on the quantum field, responding to vibrational offerings through thought, emotion, beliefs, perception, expectation, and habit.  

To operate mindfully and purposefully within the laws of attraction, you must be tethered to your authentic self and desires. 

If you are like me, most of your life was driven by hidden, secret, neurotic fears, and you were shocked every time another bad thing happened because, mentally, you believed you were hoping for the best. 

You cannot bullsh** the quantum field or your body. You can deny your truth within your own mind, at least at a pretend level, but the quantum field and our bodies will always know the truth. 

Dear One, the moral of the story is that childhood trauma steals our ability to align with our desires because we have been brainwashed out of believing our emotions, wants, and dreams are valid. We distrust what we feel, live in fear of making a mistake, and seek the approval of others, all of which cut us off from our divine intuition and right to align with those desires. Someone from a loving and stable home who grows up feeling encouraged to explore their emotional landscape, innate talents, and desires matures while connected to their authentic self. From this perspective, their desires are validated from within, and so the resonance of the atoms of their physical being attracts into their lives the manifestations of those desires.

The amazing and inspiring moral of the story is that you can learn to transform your entire world if you commit yourself to the journey of reconnecting with your authentic self, the divine aspect of you that childhood trauma forced you to abandon for the sake of avoiding rejection of others, particularly your caretakers. You can learn to connect with your innate desires more consciously when you start believing in the power of a more controlled mind. 

Thoughts become things, because thoughts are energy in action and the law of causality is as real as the governing principles of gravity.

Because the quantum field is responsive, we can transform our lives, when we transform the way we think and feel! 

We got this!

Lisa A. Romano is a certified life coach, bestselling author, and top leading expert in the field of mental wellness, codependency, and narcissistic abuse recovery. With over 20 years of experience in the field, Lisa has helped thousands of people heal from childhood trauma, codependency, narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, and toxic relationships.
Her unique approach to healing focuses on empowering individuals to take control of their lives and break free from the patterns of codependency and narcissistic abuse. Through her books, online courses, and coaching programs, Lisa provides practical tools and strategies that help individuals rebuild their sense of self, set healthy boundaries, and create fulfilling relationships.
Lisa's work has been featured in major media outlets such as USA Today, Psychology Today, the LA Times, The Huffington Post, and Yahoo Finance. She is also a sought-after speaker and hosts a top-ranked podcast called Breakdown to Breakthrough.
If you're looking for a compassionate and knowledgeable expert to guide you toward healing and self-discovery, Lisa A. Romano is the perfect choice. Her expertise, creativity, compassion, and ability to blend groundbreaking neuroscience, cutting-edge trauma research, and spiritual principles make her a standout in the field of mental wellness. Her 12-week Breakthrough Coaching Program was recently endorsed by Robin Bryman, Ph.D.
"My proven healing methodology makes your life better despite a painful past." Lisa A. Romano