May 25, 2018

Adult Children of Alcoholics--Coming Out of The Closet--Beyond The 12 Step Programs

by Lisa A. Romano

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When I was going through my recovery process, initially I attended 12 step programs to help me stay aware. At first I thought this was a really good idea, but the more meetings I attended the more I realized they were not for me.

Although I do firmly believe some people benefit tremendously from 12 step meetings, there are those of us who simply do not.

For all of you adult children of alcoholics, as well as grandchildren of alcoholics--and least we not forget our brothers and sisters who were born to 'dry' dysfunctional parents--this post is for you!

Coming Out Of The Closet

My mission in life is to bring as many ACoA's as well as any adult children of the dysfunctional who were born to emotional vampires--and were turned into zombies--by nonsensical parenting--out of the damn closet!

We have done nothing wrong!

Yes, certainly group meetings are intended to be safe places where attendees can share their laundry lists without the fear of other members spreading their personal information to others. I get that. But I cannot help but feel the need to address the idea that WE NEED TO CREATE AN ALLIANCE WITH ONE ANOTHER--SO WE CAN SPREAD THE GOOD NEWS--AND HELP BRING ABOUT GREAT CHANGE IN THIS WORLD BY CLAIMING WHAT HAPPENED TO US--NO LONGER AFRAID OF WHO MIGHT FIND OUT WHAT!

What good news?

The good news is--it is possible to heal. It is possible to get so damn cognitive--that you are able to understand that all of your behaviors and thoughts and beliefs--are the result of brainwashing.

Yes--I said it--brainwashing.


Then what?

As a child you love the vampireS--because they are your parents. You are too young to cognitively understand they are sucking your birthright to love your Self right out of you--through how they speak to you--treat you--treat themselves--and treat others.

Because ALL children need to absolutely believe mommy and daddy are godlike--they are too innocent to understand the truth--the truth being--mommy and daddy are possessed by the disease of alcoholism--and like vampires--when they smile at you with the intent of sucking the life force out of you--you're innocently confused.

Alcoholics--are self absorbed--and are unable to validate others needs. They can't--because their disease is one of BLAMELESSNESS.

An alcoholic thinks, "It's your problem I drink--not mine," just as a vampire might think, "It's your fault I suck your blood--not mine."


As children of the vampire like--we grew feeling like we weren't real. Nothing made sense in our environment. We sort of felt like mommy and daddy should 'act' like they love us--or at least 'act' like they cared about our feelings--but when they didn't, it made us feel like we were the one with the problem--not them. And sometimes our vampires shamed us for wanting to be loved. How f*@#ked up is that?

Because our brains were learning the most when we were under the age of 5, if our parents were vampires--our brain has been hijacked by dysfunctional programming.

We ACoA's literally walk through life like zombies, because our parents have done a lousy job at helping us tune into the Self.

Some of us were so busy trying to pay attention to what the alcoholic in our lives was doing, saying or thinking, that we don't know how to shut that paranoid feeling off. Even though our vampires may be dead--the programming we received as children--that refuses to allow us to let our guard down--has become a part of us. We do not know any other way of living--except through hyper vigilance.

I say--let's come out of the closet! Let's support one another...Let's give each-other the support we never got! Let's reach out to others in our neighbors, and our schools and tell them--that if they do not feel enough--that is only because they are NOT thinking appropriately...because someone they trusted was probably a vampire.

Of course they're enough--we all are!

But when you are raised by manipulative vampires whom you are entrusted in--the webs of confusion they create within our little innocent beings scrambles our ability to not only think rationally--but causes us to turn away from our god Self.


If you are interested in attending a FREE google hangout session for ACoA's or for anyone born to vampires--please drop me an email at [email protected]

I will post a date and time for all of us to chat, so we can all support one another--and help bring about energetic shifts not only within all of us in the group--but maybe even in the world.

You are LOVED Dear One!