Feb 19, 2019

Adult Children of Alcoholics--Facing Our Fears

by Lisa A. Romano

acoa adult child of alcoholic victimhood

The life of the adult child of an alcoholic as well as for the alcoholic or any being who believes they are powerless over their current states of mind, are all living a paradox.

It is right to presume that all beings created--desire to be loved, accepted, and validated for the essence of who they are. And yet in spite of this yearning to be loved, ACoA's, alcoholics, addicts and the victims of abuse deny themselves the love they yearn.

The greatest dis-ease of man today is that man does not love self--the self that is separate from his illusion of ego.

When beings identify their worth by physical things found in the so called physical reality, man--through thought separates himself from the very thing he yearns for.

It is not possible to find the love a being searches for in a car, a home, a dress size, a business, or a bank account. It is not possible to find acceptance when that acceptance is being judged by some kind of ruler.

Acceptance just is--no matter what.

The society we live in is a projection. This projection is the result of many, many past generations, and is representative of a collective mass consciousness.

That fact however, does not make the projection real and or valid.

If we are ever to heal from the wounds created by alcoholism, emotional abuse, and or physical/sexual abuse, we must come to understand that within us lies the power to change our realities.

If I as a being define myself by my past and label myself a victim, my future experience will only help reinforce that belief. My past then, which was created by my caretakers, is responsible for my future realities, and furthermore is the result of others projections, which unless I learn to gently confront, will be the blueprint for the remainder of my life.

So many ACoA's and victims of others abuse divorce in life because their inner programming has taught them to believe that they are unworthy of love.

We ACoA's then go out into the world and attract partners who are unable to love. Once our delusional fairy tale denial based infatuation falls apart, and we are left with a familiar empty hearted feeling, we then blame our partners for not loving us enough--and eventually begin playing that "you don't love me" drama out in our marriages. Because we have not learned to confront our 'victim blueprint', we inevitably find ourselves feeling 'victimized' by our partners--whether this is a reality or not. We cannot help but project what we believe about self.

We ACoA's claim we just want to be accepted, and validated, and loved for who we are--but until we are willing to let go of our 'victim woe is me' identity, and are able to integrate a sense of acceptance from within that cohesively unites our mind-body-and soul--our lives will continue to be a choppy journey full of unsatisfying and delusional projections.

Get S-I-L-E-N-T and L-I-S-T-E-N to Self.


#acoa #aca #adultchildrenofalcoholics #illusion #ego #selflove #codependency #victimhood