Adult Child of Alcoholic--Breaking The Cycle--The Warrior's Path
by Lisa A. Romano
When your parent is an alcoholic, drug addict, narcissist, or emotional manipulator of some kind--their main agenda is get their own needs met. YOU as their child--on a heart level--do not feel validated. Instead, you feel wrong, ill, inept, tainted, unworthy, broken, and in the way.
Children are born seeking outside of themselves for love, acceptance and validation; which is why when a mother gives birth to a child--the tiny little being does not jump off of the delivery table and begin walking down the hospital hall and out into the world on its own. No--we human beings come into this time space reality needing--and wait for it--DESERVING of love.
Under healthy circumstances a newborn is birthed to two beings who are emotionally stable enough to grasp hold of the idea that their child is divine, and absolutely deserving of mother and fathers acceptance, validation, nurturing, and love. But all too often in our world today, parents are caught up in their own dramas and are unable to infuse their children with the very much needed and natural desire a child has to feel 'seen' by them.
In the case of adult children of alcoholics--many of us grew up feeling completely disconnected from our parents and sadly our siblings as well. The lack of respect for others needs as well as emotional and psychological well being--set an abrasive tone in the home--which infected all who lived there. And although many of us grew up in homes that 'looked' perfect from the outside--we who lived in the homes infested by the webs of alcoholism--on a heart level felt anything but perfect.
For those of us who are aware enough to comprehend the depths of our wounds--who are now seeking some kind of recovery--may feel overwhelmed by the task at hand. We wonder if we will ever be happy, content or fulfilled. And while all of these concerns are valid and have causes--the truth is--in spite of how we feel about Self today--we are worthy--even if we never learn to embrace that idea.
You see--even though we may never get to that place of complete comfortability--in reality--we are worthy and always were. Just because we were born to people who were not as emotionally mature as we needed them to be--does not mean--we are not worthy. Just because our parents were unable to give us the love and acceptance we deserved--does not mean we are not enough...
To all of you who are brave enough to face the silly old ghosts--that have ever caused you to doubt your worth as a human being--I honor YOU!
This recovery process is all part of the bigger picture--that is--the evolution of consciousness....
If you are courageous enough to figure this all out--you my friend...are on a Warrior's Path--and as you evolve consciously--you help us all expand in ways unseen...
Thank you--and you are loved!