Sep 11, 2020

How do we love the self, if the self that we are was taught it was unworthy or irrelevant?

by Lisa A. Romano

love self love trauma

Those of us who struggle with self-love, forget that it is okay to give ourselves permission to love the self.

Many of us don't know how to love the self and struggle with understanding what that means. If we were raised in dysfunctional homes, and our parents were alcoholics or narcissistic, the timeframe necessary for a child to develop a healthy sense of self may have been completely bypassed due to experiences we were powerless to control. 


How do we begin to find our way back to the self, if we never had an opportunity to learn to connect to the self?

Great question!

When we are learning to love the self, we understand that deep within us is an essence that is as valid as any other person or thing in the entire universe.

We learn to understand that just because someone we loved, perhaps was unable to love us in a way that we needed, does not mean we are unworthy of love. We learn to accept how we feel, and at the same time, we look deeper, past our conditioning, and learn to connect with the love we have been created from. 

We also learn to understand that even if, those we loved refused to love us, that does not mean we are unworthy of love.

When we begin giving ourselves permission to love the self, our entire world shifts!

If you were waiting for someone to love you enough so you could love the self, Dear One, it is time to be the one you were looking for.

Lisa A. Romano was voted the #1 Most Influential Person of 2020 by Digital Journal and one of the top 10 Most Inspirational Women of 2021 according to Yahoo Finance. She is a Life Coach and Bestselling Author who specializes in Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. Her YouTube Channel has over 400K subscribers, and her 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program has helped thousands, including psychologists and even neuroscientists, release painful emotions from the past. Romano’s approach is seen as groundbreaking and highly effective for creating the inner transformations all human beings are capable of.
To learn more about Lisa and her online programs, books, speaking events, and support groups, visit