May 06, 2024

4 Steps to Better Mental Health: Learning to Live in Nonresistance To What You Cannot Control

by Lisa A. Romano

#codependency anxiety boundaries codependency recovery emotional well-being healthy relationships mental health overcoming codependency personal growth self-esteem

Let's talk about fear, attachments, resistance, and how you can live in a higher state of vibrations that allow you to experience much more love and light in your life.

This is what we need to remember – we are flesh beings, but more than that, we are vibrational beings that have come here to transcend the flesh, meaning that we've come here to overcome the earthly experiences that keep us stuck emotionally and psychologically. We can pigeonhole ourselves in life by thinking a thought that is out of alignment with what we really are. 

You are an energetic being. You are more energy than you are physical matter. It might help you to think about yourself in those terms. You've actually come to merge with the light. The light that you are. So the goal for me is to be non-attached because I understand that as a vibrational being, I am unattached. I have the ability to take my mind and to take my perception as far as I want to take it. And when I do that, when I do it through visualization, when I do it through intention, when I do it through meditation, when I take my thoughts to higher realms, when I take my thoughts, and I think higher type thoughts, healthier thoughts, more freeing thoughts, I'm able to experience a lightness in my body that a lot of people can't and don't because they're not doing this type of mental work.

The problem is, most people aren't doing this intentful work... they're not governing their minds on purpose. And so what happens is you will get caught up in earthly ideas. You will get caught up in illusions. You will get caught up in materialism. And if you're not very careful, you'll believe in them too. The other thing that I wish that people would understand is that everything that you experience, every emotion is a teacher. Everything that you feel has been meant to be embraced. It has not been meant to push away and to deny and to suppress and to judge.

Every feeling that you experience is sort of here to teach you about where you are, where what is, where your conscious mind is, where you are flowing your attention, which is everything. Remember what you give your attention to is usually what will grow and what will expand and what you're trying to control usually gets worse. It's sort of like somebody who has acne and they're freaking out about their acne and they're trying to control their acne and they're washing their face so much and then all of a sudden their face is dried out. So now, not only are they having these breakouts, but they also have a lot of dry skin, making them more uncomfortable, irritated, and itchy. So what happens then you try to control it more, more creams, more makeup... just trying to control this situation, there's a lot of fear and there's a lot of resistance and there's a lot of beating the drum of this thing that you don't want and lo and behold. And it just gets worse and worse from here.

If we just take that analogy and we imagine that we have come to overcome and become non-resistant so that we can live in the flow. And that's really hard to do because that means that you have to accept what's showing up, right? But when you understand that everything is transient, you know that everything that you experience is temporary.

Everything that you're experiencing, you're experiencing for the opportunity to transcend it and to let go of it so that you don't have to feel stuck in your body with your thoughts and your mind.

You're not going to be controlled by anything or anyone. I can tell you that for me, I don't want to be controlled by anyone or anything. And I realized years ago that when I thought someone was controlling me, what was really happening was I was, I was controlling myself. I felt controlled by the subconscious programming, by this codependency. I was controlled by living below the veil. I was in loops of ideas. I was in loops of beliefs and I was doing the same things over and over and over.

So I was stuck with the same type of people having the same types of conversations. It looked like they were controlling me, but what was controlling me was the way I was looking at the situation. When I learned to become more non-resistant, and when I learned to say, "Anger, what are you trying to teach me? What am I afraid of? Why am I afraid of that? What am I trying to control? What do I need to transcend?" When I started looking at my emotions in that light, embracing them like I would friends, that's when my mind began to shift.


We've come to transcend and the power to transcend is within us, but we have to learn how to transcend the thoughts in our head so that we can cut these psychic cords and sometimes karmic cords to generations from the past. If you're the grandchild of an alcoholic, you have been affected by perhaps people you've never met. And so there are cords that you need to cut. And it all starts with understanding that the goal is to become non-attached. The goal is to have love and light move into your body. The goal is to raise your vibrations because when you go toe to toe with a dynamic that you don't appreciate, you don't win, you get stuck. It's when you let go, you can transcend.

And when you're up here, you're in the higher vibrational frequencies. That's where magic can happen. That's where doors open. And that's where true change can take place. But going toe to toe with a dynamic that you're not happy about is not going to help you ascend it and you've come to ascend. So what I want to do is I want to offer you some steps:

#1 The first thing that you want to do is you want to identify your fear. So go ahead, take out a piece of paper and ask yourself, what are my top three fears right here, right now?

#2 The second thing you want to do is you want to identify the attachments you have to those fears. So it sounds like this. Why do I fear this?


So remember that you are enough, you are enough. Remember that hanging on to people who treat you like you're nothing does nothing but rob your soul of the magic and the beauty that is the awakened life. Know that people are permitted to have their opinions of you and you don't have to meet them there. You can always send them love and light. Lift them up in love and light, hope that they wake up and you can always raise yourself up in love and light and know that at your core, you are absolutely divine and perfect and that you have, you have come and you have incarnated to transcend all.

And in this life experience, if you become conscious enough, if you allow your mind to have its awareness more in the prefrontal lobe and the neocortex cortex than the amygdala, then you can actually overcome triggers. You can overcome faulty belief systems, and you can create heaven on earth. You really, really can.

So namaste, dear ones.


Remember that there is a divine light inside of you and there's a divine light in everybody, but not everybody has that light turned on and you need conscious and deliberate free will and thought to turn the light on in yourself. And if other people aren't turned that light on, we have to accept that and we have to lift them up in our own thoughts and then let them go. In love and light and raise them up. And then we have to focus on ourselves and we have to transform these thoughts in our head until they're in alignment with non-resistance and love and light. That's what we have to do. And it's not easy, but it can be done. I bow to the love and the light that is absolutely in you.

If you love this content, don't forget to go to my website and take the codependency quiz: