When you have experienced trauma, often you don't even know it. You know you feel anxious, unwell, and like something is wrong, and maybe you even believe on some deep level, you are not enough, but all too often, trauma victims don't realize they have experienced legitimate traumatic experiences.
And then you have the abusers who inflict the trauma who insist on acting like they are not abusing you.
Well, isn't that special?
Childhood trauma is inflicted on the innocent, the powerless, the helpless and the angelic. Children cannot fight back, speak up, or run from the abusers they are dependent upon, AND abusers know this!
Children are forced to deny what their hearts and bodies tell them they know is wrong, which forces their minds to find ways to perform mental acrobatics in order to get through a day and NOT consistently bump up against emotions, experiences, and situations they are defenseless against and the abusers pretend is not taking place.
Childhood trauma forces a child to abandon their inner world and rely on denial, dissociation and compartmentalizing emotions, memories, and experiences just to survive a day.
Childhood trauma manifests in negative and often fiercely self-destructive ways and unless a trauma victim is able to pin the tail on the donkey, the symptoms or effects of trauma will slowly destroy trauma victims from the inside out.
Codependency, attachments, fear, anxiety, depression, addiction, guilt, shame, the fear of failure, the fear of success, and the inability to find harmony in our lives and relationships are some of the ways unresolved trauma manifests.
The screwed up thing is, the brain and mind are designed to protect
consciousness from coming face to face with traumatic experiences and only when you are strong enough to know at least bits of the truth, and only when you feel at least somewhat safe enough to touch the truth, can your being process, release, and integrate the traumatic experiences that have taken place in your life.
For today, know this. There is an inner light within you that NEVER goes out. Yes, it dims. Yes, it becomes harder to find the deeper the trauma, BUT it never leaves you.
For today, know this, there is a light within you, and it is your right to find it, honor it, love it, hear it, feel it, see it and let it shine!