Jun 23, 2019

Happiness-End the Rat Race

by Lisa A. Romano

codependency happiness rat race

End the Rat Race 

Life, like all wonderful vacations, must come to an end.  While some may see this opening line as somewhat of a depressing thought, I hope many will also view it as sobering as well. 

Life is a temporary thing and very much like a vacation, it does not last forever. Time and space cause us to be spellbound by the illusion that our death is far off in the distance somewhere and yet, consciously we all know this is an illusion itself. Many of us get up and do the exact same things we did the day before. However, what most of us fail to recognize is that we also recycle what we think and believe.

This weekend, we said goodbye to a woman who seemed as if somehow she would be the one who would escape life by not dying, ever. Her smile was large and her laugh was hearty. She had an incredibly loving relationship with her husband and two handsome sons. Her big family rallied around her during her illness, which has been a five-year-long journey, but in the end, like it will be for us all, she bid this vacation farewell. 

I will see my friend again, maybe not this year, or the next, or maybe I will see her tomorrow. Who knows? But the entire purpose of this post is to help us realize how peculiar most of us are so we can WAKE up and see every day as a precious vacation. 

Life Should Not be a Rat Race-It Should be Viewed as a Vacation

When I think of life as a vacation, I am much apter to wish to enjoy as many of the wonderful things there are to delight in about life than I am to waste time thinking, focusing on, or taking part in things I do not enjoy, drain me, annoy me, or just plain piss me off.  

If you had no desire to visit the Crocheting Museum of the North Pole, would you spend your time and your money booking flights, staying in a hotel and finding the time to visit the museum of yarns and crocheting hooks in freezing cold temperatures? Probably not...

But think about it for a moment.

Why do people tend to appreciate the value of their time and money when it comes to vacations, but in everyday life, so much of our energy is wasted on things we don't enjoy? 

Why are we willing to spend time investing in excursions, hotels, and clothes we know we'll enjoy on vacation, but in everyday life, we tend to go into some kind of sleep mode? 

Why is it okay to perceive our time, money, experiences and life itself as more precious when we are on vacation, but NOT appreciate our NOW moments when we are NOT on vacation?

Would you go on vacation with a group of people you hated? 

Would you stop and talk to energy vampires in the lobby of a luxury cruise ship if you just spent $10,000 on a 10-day cruise through Europe?

Would you invite a narcissistic ex to spend those ten precious days with you as you weaved through through the beauty of Europe? 

Of course not!

So then why do so many of us waste our precious time each having conversations that deplete us, or why do we so often tolerate our own nonsensical thinking when life is a vacation we know will end?

The Answer is a Bit Complicated

Human beings are both conscious and unconscious at the same time. We are also creatures whose brains are wired for instant gratification. Below the veil of consciousness,  our waking state is being propelled by subconscious programming. If we have suffered childhood trauma, or if we have been conditioned by our caretakers to complain, waste time, judge, criticize, and essentially NOT appreciate the gift life is, we have been programmed to do the same. If we have been conditioned to believe we are not enough, we may be seeking instant gratification by way of maladaptive coping skills like Codependency. We may people-please, fawn, argue or try to control things, situations, and people we shouldn't.

More than anything, human beings want to be loved and to love. When the fear of abandonment kicks in, our brain is wired to avoid pain and to seek the instant gratification of attaching to someone OR we may wish to avoid being abandoned by someone we unconsciously believe we must stay connected to OR we may wish to avoid feeling rejected and we may react harshly to someone who has abandoned us. 

Living Above the Veil of Consciousness

More than anytime before, people are waking up and becoming acquainted with the rat-like thoughts that have infested our consciousnesses. We are learning to OBSERVE the crazy tracks in our minds with a new lens. We are FINALLY learning that thoughts are just thoughts and that they are NOT us. Thoughts are words strung together like clothes on a line. They are the products of language, memory, emotions, experiences, and the brain's need to compartmentalize, organize and make sense of what has been downloaded into the subconscious mind. 

But here's the tricky part--IF what has been downloaded is crap, then the data streaming through to the conscious field will be crap! If you've been conditioned to believe you are unworthy, guess what? Below the veil of consciousness, you may be living the rat's life, driven by compulsions, and subconscious unmet emotional needs. 

You're Not a Rat

You're not a rat and that should really excite you. YOU have a choice. You can awaken and decide to invest your time in what you know will enhance your life experience. You do NOT have to continue having draining conversations inside of you or outside of you.  You can learn to scuba dive, cha-cha, paint, sing, or play an instrument. You can invest in the spiritual path, develop your personal communication skills, or go back to school. You can learn to make money your way, move to another country, or start a new business altogether. 

Every Great Journey Begins With One Small Steps and Sometimes  Knees are Knocking

Thank goodness I woke up. I shudder when I think about ending my vacation as my mother did, unaware, in a diaper, out of touch with reality, and unable to make decisions for herself and after a life of Codependency addicted to pleasing my dad. She did the best she could considering the rats who raised her. I no longer have any ill feelings for my mother and I am grateful for the ability to appreciate the big picture. 

My knees were knocking when I turned the corner of my rat-race of a life and when I decided I was not going to live the rat-race my other had.  I was perplexed, confused, and often wondered if I would make it through another day once I began the awakening process. Leaving behind everything you've been programmed to believe in is NOT for the faint of heart. Learning to understand I had been asleep at the wheel, helped me carry-on and reprogram my mind as I built the bridge beneath my feet that would prop me up until my new programming was complete. 

You're not a rat. You are a divine, complex, conscious being that is sealed in the most powerful suit anyone could ever dream up. Your body is simply magical! It is a temple that houses the real-you that you are. 

Today, may you see this day as a vacation day and may all your days be spent as it were your last. 

This is the path to happiness. 

To learn more about how you can expand your capacity to live a Codependent Free life and learn to become more self-actualized, self-aware, and self-confident, check out Lisa's 12 Week Online Breakthrough Coaching Program.