If you have found yourself reading this article, then more than likely you are struggling with possibly identifying with issues associated with your perception of what it is to be codependent or what codependency is.
If you are like I was when I first began toying with the idea that maybe 'I had a problem--since I was the common denominator' at the root of all my dysfunctional relationships, I was overwhelmed by the information I found. What confused me the most was, my parents were not addicts or alcoholics. I remember thinking, 'Codependency is for people who are in love with drug addicts--or who were raised by drug addicts--and neither my parents nor my spouse at the time drank or did drugs-so how can I possibly be codependent?'
This was my greatest stumbling block, and had I understood what codependency really was I would not have wasted so much time denying that I possibly could actually be codependent.
Okay--enough belly aching...
If you were raised by an alcoholic, then you were failed.
YOU DID NOT FAIL; your alcoholic failed you.
If your father was an alcoholic--and your mother enabled him--and taught you to tone yourself down for the sake of NOT rocking the boat--then YOU were denied the connection to Warrior Self you deserved.
It must be understood and accepted by the conscious and unconscious mind. To read these above statements and to just contemplate them for one second or two--will not be enough to counter the millions of imprinted pieces of negative data that have been inputed into your subconscious mind since your birth--and quite possibly--while even in utero.
If you are the adult child of an alcoholic--you have quite literally been programmed to think in self defeating ways.
What you observe in childhood good or bad, healthy or not gets imprinted upon a child's innocent, and 'in the state of learning' blank brain.
Whatever the child experiences in childhood--and especially...