Childhood Programming and Codependency
by Lisa A. Romano
Scary but true.
Human beings can go an entire lifetime, unaware that the thoughts that are flowing through our minds are all tied to what information, patterns, beliefs, and programs have been downloaded as a result of childhood experiences.
Childhood emotional neglect causes great trauma and many of us fail to recognize how being ignored, treated with indifference and sometimes even with contempt, can cause us to become emotionally arrested without us ever realizing this to be true.
How happy are you today, really?
How individualized do you feel?
Do you feel confident and like you can stand on your own two feet?
How dependent are you upon others, financially, emotionally, or physically?
Do you tend to enmesh with others?
Are you more comfortable when taking care of or rescuing others who seem to 'need' someone to take care of them?
Do you avoid what is really bothering you and instead busy yourself with other things, like other people's issues rather than focusing on your own stuff?
Don't worry too much, if you avoid feeling YOUR emotions. We all do. It is normal to avoid pain and in fact, our brain was designed to avoid it. BUT--we are MAGNIFICENT HUMAN BEINGS and we are extensions of INFINITE INTELLIGENCE, so that means, we are CREATORS and we can change our BRAINS! We can face our pain, change our brain AND create a new, healthier paradigm.
These questions and questions like these help us identify underlying beliefs that may be at the root of our emotional dependency upon others, BUT, until we STOP long enough to have a good look at them, we will be BLIND to them, create an undesired reality and in our blindness call it fate.
Thank you Carl Jung for that AMAZING insight, btw.
The really, really COOL news is, we can AWAKEN!
We can learn to LOOK at our emotions--our reactions--our behaviors and even the events that are tied to the faulty beliefs that are the root of our co-dependency.
Now, before you go jumping up and down, I need to warn you first. Healing from codependency feels like we are being turned inside out. We will be called to look at our pain--feel our pain--embrace our pain--and allow our pain to be filtered through our body like water flows through cheesecloths--and as you have already probably guessed, this is NOT easy to do.
The brain is designed to AVOID pain--so hello--it takes warrior-like strength to heal from the trauma that is tied to the beliefs that cause our amygdalae to go haywire.
Codependents have been programmed to believe that what they feel, and what they need is unimportant. Childhood emotional neglect, as well as abuse and trauma, causes children to fear that they have no right to protect themselves, set boundaries, or to even self-care. Codependency is rooted in the taking care of and sometimes obsessing over the needs of others, while we ignore the needs of the self. Because as children, the adults in our lives failed to ATTUNE themselves to what was going on with us, we have failed to properly connect to the AUTHENTIC SELF--and this is NOT our fault.
If you are on this path, I freaking SALUTE you--because on the road to recovery, it will take everything you've got to remember, it is not you--it is only your programming that needs to be fixed.
The goal is PEACE.
The goal is LOVE.
The goal is SELF-EMPATHy.
The goal is SELF-UNDERSTANDING.
The goal is EMOTIONAL-SOBRIETY.
Healing is not easy, but with the right mindset and tools, it certainly is possible.
I bow to the love and the light in you!
YOU GOT THIS DEAR ONE!
YOU ARE ENOUGH!