May 21, 2024

Signs You're Ready to Date Again: Codependency Recovery

by Lisa A. Romano

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Namaste, everybody I bow to the love and light that is absolutely in you.

Remember, there's a light inside of you even if you can't feel it, even if you're not acknowledging it. 

There is a light that was in you that is within you and that you are perfect at your core. You're actually divine love light energy. 

Most of us don’t remember this because we come from dysfunctional homes where we’re told that we're not worthy to be heard, to be listened to, to have a family, to be treated with kindness. 

When you are infused with these ideas over and over (and especially up until about the age of seven) you are primarily being conditioned to believe that you are nothing… that you are not worthy of anything.

What we don't realize is that everybody's born asleep and everybody is unconscious. We are all people running around on this planet below the veil of consciousness.

But you have the ability to awaken and begin changing the programs and paradigms, especially when it comes to love and relationships. 

I personally have been fortunate enough to escape abusive relationships and I’ve spent some time on the healing path…  That’s where I began to learn the difference between conscious living versus unconscious living and reactive living versus creative living. Beginning to understand these ideas and avoiding making the same mistakes is so important. It’s all part of the awakening process and healing from codependency.

Codependence is below the veil living. Narcissists live below the veil and codependents live below the veil. This is why we actually attract narcissists into our lives because many of us who are codependent don't realize that we're codependent. We don't speak up for ourselves, we don't have a healthy sense of self, we're not self-loving. We self berate. We think everything's our fault. We're afraid of upsetting people. We're afraid of telling our truth. We are highly reactive and try to please everybody and try to make sure that nobody's upset. We need other people's validation primarily because we never got it in childhood. We missed a very important psychological milestone and because we missed it, we keep trying to get that need met by attracting people who mimic the vibrations of our parents… who failed us and abandoned us in the first place. 

That’s why it’s so important to start doing the healing work… to start living above the veil. And as we do, we have to make sure that we are honing in on our vibrational frequencies and we're changing the broadcast that we're giving off.

So if you’re ready for dating again, if you have found a way to love being alone, if you no longer crave being seen by another person because you now see yourself, you're one step closer to being ready to try dating or manifesting a divine mate. 

Here are some key factors to keep in mind as you are starting to date again:

Cultivate an abundance mentality: Believe in your own worthiness and see a relationship as an enriching addition to your life.

Set strong boundaries: Protect your physical and emotional well-being by learning to say no to unhealthy situations. Remember, you’re not here to make everyone else happy at your own expense.

Heal from past hurts: Process past experiences to create space for trusting and secure relationships. This step is crucial!

Trust your intuition: Learn to pick up on red flags and follow your gut feeling - always!

Financial independence empowers you: Having control over your finances allows you to enter and exit relationships confidently, knowing you’re able to take care of yourself no matter what happens.

Invest in your wholeness: Prioritize your physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual well-being for a fulfilling life… and remember that this is a lifelong practice.

Build a supportive network: Surround yourself with positive people who uplift and encourage you. This can be family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, coaches, people from support groups, etc.

Date with intention: Approach dating with a clear idea of your values and what you're looking for in a partner.

Embrace your worth: Know that you are deserving of love, respect, and a fulfilling relationship.

I hope this blog has given you enough tips that you can resonate with. 

Think about them. Stick them on your refrigerator and really understand that you can have anything that you want. It might not happen overnight but you have to understand that change doesn't happen until you change. You have to invest in yourself first.



Lisa A. Romano was voted the #1 Most Influential Person of 2020 by Digital Journal and one of the top 10 Most Inspirational Women of 2021. She is a Life Coach and Bestselling Author who specializes in Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. Her YouTube Channel has over 670K subscribers, and her 12-week Breakthrough Coaching Program has helped thousands, including psychologists and even neuroscientists, release painful emotions from the past. Romano’s approach is seen as groundbreaking and highly effective for creating the inner transformations all humans are capable of. To learn more about Lisa and her online programs, books, speaking events, and support groups, visit