Originally published 24 April 2017

Judgment says more about the person offering it than the person receiving it. That is easy to say and very hard to feel, particularly if you were raised in a home where someone else's opinion of you decided how safe your day was going to be.

People who judge harshly are usually managing something they have not looked at. Criticism becomes the way they move discomfort off themselves and onto someone else. Understanding that does not excuse it, and it does not mean you have to stay in range of it.

What we can do is stop treating another person's assessment as information about our worth. Their opinion is theirs. Your value was never up for a vote.

Where to go next:

• Take the free codependency quiz
• Free resources, workbooks and meditations
• Lisa's books
• The blog
• The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program

Dear One, you are not broken. You adapted.

It's not you. It's your programming. And programming can always be rewritten.