Originally published 29 May 2017
Have you been abused by a narcissist? Do you wish other people understood your experience? Do other people doubt you were abused by a narcissist?
If you are becoming aware that you have been abused by a narcissist you may be looking for friends and family to acknowledge you. When we are wounded it is natural to reach out to others seeking validation. However, when it comes to narcissistic abuse very often times the people we care about cannot see what we see or understand how deep our pain goes.
While it is normal and beneficial to be validated, very often times when it comes to narcissistic abuse we do not receive that validation from others. Narcissists are very clever and they do not treat their victims the way they treat others. Healing is enhanced when we begin to learn that the only person's opinion that matters about your abuse is you. Sometimes even therapists do not understand the depth of narcissistic abuse. In this case, try to trust your gut.
Children of narcissistic parents, who are now living with codependency symptoms, may be struggling to learn how to love themselves after narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to attract people pleasers, or codependent personalities. Because codependents are eager to please, because they seek outside validation, they are easy targets for narcissistic lovers, and friends.
It is not easy to learn how to love yourself after narcissistic abuse, but with the right codependency recovery tools it is possible. It is even possible to find love after codependency.
Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach, bestselling author, and mentor. She is also the creator of the 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program, Level One of the Above the Veil Method.
Her books include:
- The Road Back To Me
- My Road Beyond The Codependent Divorce
- Codependent Now What? It's Not You-It's Your Programming
- Loving the Self Affirmations 1 & 2
- Quantum Tools To Help You Heal Your Life Now
- The Codependency Manifesto
Where to go next:
- Take the free codependency quiz
- Free resources, workbooks and meditations
- Lisa's books
- The blog
- The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program
- World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day
Dear One, you are not broken. You adapted.
It's not you. It's your programming. And programming can always be rewritten.