Originally published 22 May 2017

Breaking the cycle of abuse begins with seeing it. Not excusing it, not explaining it away, and not waiting for the people who caused it to acknowledge what happened.

Most adult children inherit patterns they never chose. What was done to us shapes how we relate, how we react, and what we tolerate, and it does so below the veil of consciousness, where willpower cannot reach. That is why breaking a cycle is not simply a matter of deciding to be different.

Conscious awareness is where the work begins. When you can see the pattern as it happens, you gain the space to choose something else. That space is small at first. It widens with practice.

Where to go next:

• Take the free codependency quiz
• Free resources, workbooks and meditations
• Lisa's books
• The blog
• The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program

Dear One, you are not broken. You adapted.

It's not you. It's your programming. And programming can always be rewritten.