Nope, nobody has been born to make sure your life experience is comfy and cozy.
Nope, there is no one out there that is responsible for your happiness.
Nope, nobody out there can really read your mind.
Nope, not everybody is going to like you.
Nope, you will NOT be invited to every dinner party or event.
Nope, your children will not always think you’re awesome.
Nope, there is no guarantee your friends won’t disappoint you.
Now, doesn’t that feel better?
Isn’t it a relief to know that our lives are NOT supposed to be perfect?
Isn’t it awesome to know that it is okay to NOT have to make sure EVERYBODY thinks we LIKE THEM?
Isn’t it freeing to know shit is gonna’ happen and that is okay?
Childhood programming taught you to believe YOU HAD to get people's approval otherwise you might DIE.
Childhood programming taught you to believe that unless you gained the approval of others, you were UNWORTHY.
Childhood programming taught you to believe your self esteem...
Scary but true.
Human beings can go an entire lifetime, unaware that the thoughts that are flowing through our minds are all tied to what information, patterns, beliefs, and programs have been downloaded as a result of childhood experiences.
Childhood emotional neglect causes great trauma and many of us fail to recognize how being ignored, treated with indifference and sometimes even with contempt, can cause us to become emotionally arrested without us ever realizing this to be true.
How happy are you today, really?
How individualized do you feel?
Do you feel confident and like you can stand on your own two feet?
How dependent are you upon others, financially, emotionally, or physically?
Do you tend to enmesh with others?
Are you more comfortable when taking care of or rescuing others who seem to 'need' someone to take care of them?
Do you avoid what is really bothering you and instead busy yourself with other things, like other people's issues rather than focusing...
I want to thank one of the members of my 12 Week Breakthrough Codependency Coaching Program for giving me such a great topic to write about. It seems she is concerned that because she is 'afraid of men', that perhaps she will never attract the kind of man she truly desires. I wanted to expand on this topic because it is so relevant, especially to wounded adult children who have been abused in childhood.
If you have been conditioned to fear feeling vulnerable because as a child your vulnerability and powerlessness was exploited, it is very natural for you to fear getting too close to the opposite sex. As an adult female, if you are finding it particularly difficult to feel comfortable around men, and you have been emotionally, sexually or physically abused in childhood, your brain is simply trying to protect you from getting hurt again today.
The brain is highly sophisticated, but it is also very simple. The pain vs. pleasure reflex is always operating, and its...
Hi Dear Ones!
On February 25th, 2017 I will be hosting a live workshop and brunch in Long Island, New York. I will also be doing live coaching for brave volunteers. Any questions you have, I will be answering and helping you to understand.
If you are interested in learning more about childhood programming, and how when we were children we were programmed to deny the self, this workshop is for you.
If you are interested in being surrounded by those who understand your language as well as your pain, this will be a great opportunity to surround yourself with amazing like minded others.
You may register for this workshop by securing your seat through Paypal.
East Wind Resort
Wading River, Long Island, New York
11 am-3 pm EST.
Ample parking is available.
Bring your questions as well as your appetite.
No alcohol will be served at this event.
To purchase through Eventbrite
On February 2nd, 2017 please tune in to watch Lisa A. Romano and Maria Mirkovich as they discuss how dysfunctional childhood programming brainwashes children to become adults who suffer from low self-worth and a lack of identity. Family Today with Lisa A. Romano will air at 7 pm est. on channel 34 (FIOS) and channel 81 (Time Warner Cable now called Spectrum). A special thank you to Maria Mirkovich and her assistant Gina who made my visit to the network very enjoyable. I felt extremely welcomed.
Here is a link to the show.
So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough. For some, the emotion of fear may have been triggered early on and quite possibly even in utero. The limbic brain is wired to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. Anything that causes a growing fetus to experience a threat to harmony and peace will be registered as pain. Humans are being downloaded long before we are able to walk. Unfortunately, because so many people do not appreciate the experiences of children as valid; believing that what children cannot remember doesn't count, we are a world of wounded adults who are stuck in states of fight or flight who may not even realize it.
Compounding societal ignorance is the fact that ALL human beings are born asleep. We are not born aware. We are born with brainwave states that equal the dream state of consciousness. We do not have the ability to think critically as children. All that happens to us in our outer world becomes downloaded into our growing and impressionable...
Enjoy this television interview with Donna Drake and Lisa A. Romano on Live it Up Live
For most of my life, I struggled with self-worth. I did not truly believe I was worthy of love, understanding, acceptance, kindness, or appreciation. In the back of my mind was a core belief that sounded something like, "Nobody really likes you or loves you. You're not good. You're not smart. You're not pretty. You're not funny. Why would anyone want to love you? It's your job to prove to others you are good enough and when they finally say that you are good enough, then maybe you will be. Until then, keep working at trying to be good enough." This unconscious pattern of thought kept me bound as well as broken, seeking the approval of others.
When we are codependent, it is like we are living under water. We aren't really living at all. It is as if we are outside the fish tank looking in, wondering when we will finally feel like we belong, or that we are good enough to belong. The illusion that we are not good enough is strong and innate, we never question the idea...