Narcissists have shadows as we all do but unlike healthier others, they are unable to experience self-awareness or self-realization. Their minds work to ward off seeing themselves and all their character flaws for what they are.
If they are liars, they will never see themselves as such or they will rationalize why they abuse you, deceive you and continue to take from you.
If they steal from you, they will not see it as stealing. Instead, they will rationalize why they are entitled to take from you without having to give to you.
They will tell themselves a story that prevents them from understanding how their selfish, self-serving behaviors are acceptable.
They will never admit that they lie, cheat, or steal. Their minds will always justify why they have done what they have done.
They will never see you as a victim of their personality disorder. Instead, they will forever view themselves as a victim, fail to take accountability and as soon as they are done with you, they are on to the next victim.
They will begin courting their victim with praise as they did you, all the while plotting how they can stay in control of the next relationship.
Victims of narcissistic abuse often do not know they are victims. And this is why the narcissistic abuse cycle perpetuates itself.
Only when a victim understands themselves as a victim, can the abuse cycle stop. In time, as healing deepens, victims learn to protect themselves by identifying the need to set personal boundaries, and to love the self.
The goal is to heal trauma from the past and to no longer remain a magnet for narcissistic others.
If you are the child of a narcissist or the adult child of an alcoholic, or if you have experienced abandonment, rejection, and or emotional neglect in your childhood, you may not realize how these experiences have the potential to cause you to become a target for narcissistic abuse. My aim is to help awaken those who have been abused so that they can stop the abuse cycle. Only when we understand ourselves separate from others can we help to heal our lives.
Identifying one's self as a victim serves to help one without boundaries to begin to perceive themselves as one worthy of protecting.
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