Narcissists need a toy to play with. Much like cats play with mice, narcs like to lay in waiting until the mouse feels secure and is out in the open. Once the mouse is out in the open and is feeling safe, that is when the cat strikes the hardest. When the mouse least expects to be taken over, that is when cats enjoy striking the most.
As adult children from dysfunctional homes, many of us do not even realize just how wounded we truly are. Because we have ridiculously high threhholds for pain, we do not always consciously comprehend how dank our energy bodies are. Many of us have been living in such deep states of survival for so long, we are unaware our emotional set point is one that has us unknowingly avoiding pain rather than seeking joy in our lives. Because so many of us were taught that our needs were unimportant, we no longer seek guidance from within, and so we wind up settling for what shows up.