Boundaries

It is probably one of the most emotionally challenging things to do as a human being who loves another human being. Setting boundaries with those we love can be difficult and anxiety provoking. So how do we know when we should set a boundary with someone we love?

It is certainly a complicated question and it has helped me to develop a certain protocol around boundary setting with people I love. It is not always fail proof, but having some type of concrete plan has helped me feel less anxious when put in a difficult spot by someone I care about.

My formula is fairly simple. If someone is talking poorly about me and not to me, that is something I generally brush off unless this person is someone who claims to love, honor and respect me. If I am spoken about poorly about someone who claims to care about me and our relationship, my general rule of thumb is to confront them personally, directly, and to let them know precisely how what I heard made me feel. If this person then reacts by...

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Self Love is Key

Self love is the key to everything. 

When we set boundaries we are loving the self.

When we forgive, we are loving the self.

When we refuse to shame the self, we are loving the self.

When we invest in the self, we are loving the self.

When we meditate, we are loving the self.

When we rest, we are loving the self.

When we say ‘NO’ we are loving the self.

And when we say ‘YES’ and we mean it—we are loving the self.

Self love is absolutely the key to everything but the foundation for self love is healing any idea that ever had us believing we were not enough.


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Learning to Love the Self

Love is a choice and a state of being.

Love is an action word as it reflects a nonphysical state that is acted upon by a physical being.

To help us understand what love truly is, it helps to rest one’s mind on the simplicity that abounds in nature.

Today, focus your attention on the beauty of a single flower. Study it. Watch it. Imagine what it feels like to be a single rose or sunflower in a garden of many in a world it does not worry about, unconcerned with what the other sunflowers or roses think.

Do what you can to imagine and connect on a vibrational level to the absolute stillness of that flower.

Just for a few moments, drop your own mind. Drop your thoughts. Drop your worries over your past wounding experiences. Drop your worry and connect to the infinite streams of abundance that is always--and was always about you.

Just for a few moments, become still of mind and milk the experience of love. Milk the feeling of pure acceptance, peace, and stillness that is love.

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Self Love

Self-love and self-compassion are required in order to live a joyful life.

Appropriate Self-love is not selfish. Self-love that is malignant is the type of love that exists at the expense of others and is exploiting of others. Those who are uncomfortable with us setting boundaries might accuse us of being selfish, once we start saying, “Hey, knock it off”, and we might wonder if we have a right to be self-loving when someone is suggesting we should not honor our selves and we should instead honor what they want instead.

Imagine the friend who wants you to go out drinking and you just don’t want to. Imagine them berating you and suggesting you’re selfish for not wanting to hang out.

Or imagine the spouse who wants to try a threesome and you’re not into it. Imagine being judged and criticized for not caring about the needs of your spouse who wishes to engage in this type of activity.

In each case, where are you? Where is your reality? Where are your...

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Self Love

Do you...

  • struggle with feeling invisible?
  • tend to attract narcissistic and abusive partners?
  • cater to the needs of others?
  • fear speaking up and telling your truth?

If so you're not alone.

Many people are unaware as to why they do what they do.  Most of us do not realize we are 95% unconscious and only 5% concsious and that almost all of what we think, both conscious and unconscious is negative.

We See What We Believe

Whatever you have been conditoned to believe about the self as a child, has now become the filter in which you perceive your self.  

Were you...

  • taught to believe your feelings don't matter?
  • taught to believe what other people thought about you was more important than what you thought about you?
  • taught to fear making other people angry?
  • taught to ignore your wants, your dreams, and your desires?

If any of this is true, you may not realize the subconscious paradigms these experiences have created within you.

The Good News

The good news is...

  • the...
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