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Blog - Category: Codependency

need to be needed, enabling, codependent, enmeshment,

Need to Be Needed

Anger can be a double-edged sword and it is wise to respect this emotion.

Anger can imply our boundaries have been crossed and signal our bodies to take appropriate action.

1) We may need a boundary
2) We may need to leave a job
3) We may need to end a relationship
4) We may need to become more self-accountable
5) We may need to check our dependencies on others
6) We may need to take better care of ourselves

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Narcissist, Narcissistic Relationships, Codependent Relationships, Learning to Let Go

Narcissistic Relationships and Codependency

Narcissists don't always know they are narcissists. We have to keep this in mind. A narcissist is like speaking to a tree. A tree is convinced its a tree. When we speak to a tree--we know that the tree believes it is a tree. But what if the tree wasn't really a tree. What if the tree was really a bush but the bush just thought it was a tree? What if because the bush was planted in a forest full of trees, the bush just assumed it was a tree too?

codependency, codependent relationship, i am in a codependent relationship

Letting Go of Codependent Relationships

Codependents are dependent on people. We seek validation, acceptance, and permission to feel what we feel and think what we think. Even when we are 'feeling' and 'believing' we should end a friendship or some other type of a relationship like a marriage or business agreement, we struggle with believing we have a right to do so. Even when we get angry, we look to the one who has pushed our buttons for permission to feel upset.

Codependency is a Comfortable State of Uncomfortability

Codependents are sadly comfortable with being uncomfortable. When we are in relationships, we have no data for harmony. We settle for the discomfort because we don't know any other way of living. Neurosis, fear, anxiety, lions, and tigers, and bears OH MY! This IS our way of being.

Healing would come much faster if we could begin to ingest this idea of healthy vs unhealthy. If your relationships bring you anxiety, then they are NOT healthy and they do NOT serve you.

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Breakthrough Life Coach--Codependent No More

When I walked into my therapy appointment for the first time, I was seriously doubting my sanity. At the same time I was also obsessing about the self-doubt I felt about being in therapy at all. I was ingrained to believe that self-care was a form of selfishness. It was only because I was so desperate I went at all. Migraines, rashes, hair loss, eczema, and severe asthma were all killing me slowly. I knew in my heart my unhappy marriage was a key to why I was falling apart and seeking therapy felt very much like my last hope.

Codependency-When Ignorance Can Be Bliss

On Mother's Day of this year, my mother suffered another stroke. The hematoma on her brain has caused her to also begin experiencing seizures. Along with each seizure her heart has stopped each time.  All of this is on top of her dementia diagnosis.

Codependency and Covert Abuse

Codependency and Covert Abuse

For anyone who is struggling with codependency, you know all too well how difficult it is to walk away from a relationship, even when the relationship is toxic. Codependents have been conditioned to unconsciously fear being alone, and will often times do just about anything to maintain even the most horrendous of relationships. An insidious aspect of many dysfunctional codependent relationships occurs when covert abuse is at play. Ever have a partner call you a filthy name and then turn around in the next moment and ask you what movie you would like to go see?

Codependency-The Disease

As odd as it was to be diagnosed with a dis-ease I did not understand, it was just as exciting to discover there was actually a name for what I had. What I had was a people pleasing disorder that prevented me from being able to honor or even connect to my self. Codependency, as it turns out is the product of emotional childhood neglect. Although even the most well meaning parents can create codependent children, the main cause of codependency is childhood emotional trauma. Codependency begins to get rooted into a child's psyche when they experience attachment traumas and grow up feeling emotionally, and psychologically invisible to those they love. When children are not mirrored back a positive sense of self, they are denied the safety of familial bonds that allow them to feel wanted, needed, loved and like they belong to those they love. When these crucial bonds to others are corrupted or denied, the brains of children go into survival mode. Many children sadly are never able to move out of operating in survival mode, and instead get stuck in a state of fight or flight mode.

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